Please review my IELTS writing task 2

Topic: Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to work or travel in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should learn foreign language. Discuss both views and give your opinion.My essay: In this day and age, learning a foreign language is become more and more important. It has a lot of advantages including augmenting knowledge, having better jobs prospects, fostering cognitive and so on. Although some people argue that we should learning country, I am of the opinion that these are not limited to the job and travel. The essay will delves into both of views.On the one hand, it is believed that a foreign language be able to connect people together, hence it will be easier to find a potential jobs or travel. Firstly, it is irrefutable that a large number of people learn a foreign language such as English, Spanish, German to find jobs, migration or travel to the country where use these languages. From this regard, it seems quite logical that they are main reason for people to learn a second language. In my country, for instance, while almost people learn English, some of them choose Korean. Migration and job are the main reason to established this trend, I believed.On the other hand, I am infavour of the idea that still have many benefits to learn a foreign language. It is undeniable that job and travel are the main inference another compelling reason the idea is that people will having variety of golden chances to acquire with many different cultures so that they be able to expanded knowledge. People who are learn a foreign language can read a great deal of books or novels, understanding the lifestyle of different nationalities. Furthermore, according to research, learning a different language will provide children favourable condition to augmenting memory and sagacity. Thus, parents ought to spend more time to take care of language of children.In conclusion, while some people choose learning languages primarily because of job and travel, it seems to me that we can take more advantages of foreign languages because of the above-mentioned reason.