Please review my IELTS writing task 2

Topic: The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishment on driving offenses. Do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

There is a growing a concern today about the level of safety road, which means that people are arguing about applying stricter penalties as a deterrent. In this essay, I will clarify this issue.

I believe that the way to make our road safer is to raise people awareness of better driving habits. Since all accidents happened that came from the action of disregarding of human. People sometimes ignore the rules when they drive vehicle in a road; thus, it may lead to several consequences such as collision or crash. Therefore, it is highly recommended that people should be educated strictly about the instructions of safety driving; especially pre-schoolers must be informed soon at school. For example, in Vietnam, children who start at the age of 5 are taught to know the traffic rules and the safety driving such as wearing helmet when being driven by parent to school or stopping when the traffic light turns into red color in order to protect themselves and others.

Moreover, raising people awareness could be in the form of implementing campaign or propagandizing the safety driving through social media, news, conferences or internet. For instance, there was news on youtube that mentioned about the cause and the consequence of one family from accident. It showed that the daughter of the family was badly injured and forever could not stand or walk because of driving out of speed limit. There was so much tears and sympathy from the audiences and raised viral comments about complying the rules in order not to be in a recurring problem.

In conclusion, I believe that the way how to make our road safer comes from people’s perception. In order to raise their awareness, we should educate children at school and propagandize a better driving habit through public campaign.