Please review my IELTS writing task 2

Topic: Some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accident. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
My essay:

In this day and age, how to lessen road accident in the city is a hotly-debated topic that often divides opinion. While some say that applying rigorous castigation on offenders will be an effective move, I believe that highway safety can gain a betterment by other methods.

On the one hand, harsh chastisement is a form of deterrent for those who violate the traffic laws. Some strict rules which are seizing driving licenses, fining a large sum of money or even capturing sentences will provoke consciousness of citizens because they do not want to suffer those stringent punishment. Furthermore, drivers who have already punished by strict laws will afraid to repeat that again. After enduring the punishments, drivers will raise more carefulness and alertness as well as more understandings about road regulations.

On the other hand, I would argue that reducing automobile collisions can be tackled by other measures. First of all, if government just emphasizes on imposing strict rules, traffic fatalities can not be decreased effectively. There are two prominent causes involved with traffic injuries, which are drivers' high rate of using alcoholic drinks and substandard quality of highway, and government can take steps to improve these problems by introducing heavy taxes on alcoholic beverages and investing more on highway structures. On top of that, it is important to cultivate more understandings about traffic for teenagers. Ministry of Education and Training should insert one subject about traffic learning in the compulsory curriculum, which equips essential traffic knowledge for pupils in a young age. As a result, road fatalities can be declined significantly by these solutions.

In conclusion, although stern traffic laws can mitigate vehicular crashes, I personally think that other measures could be more efficient to deal with the problems.