Please review my IELTS Writing Task 2

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In today’s world, men tend to be more responsible for taking care of their children. However, some people still believe that women should be ones who need to bring childcare into focus more than men as they are better at childcare. In my opinion, I completely do not agree that women should focus on raising their son/daughter more than their work.
Obviously, today’s women do not want to stay at home to look after kids because they feel they are counting on their husbands. Instead of doing that, certainly they want to use their earnings to learn a new language, go on a trip with friends, learn to cook. If they are forced to less focus on work and more focus on raising children, it is undoubtedly unequal. By the way, it does not mean that women can neglect their children and focus on work more than on childcare. It means that women have the right to experience new things in the world, to earn their own income but should balance between raising children and earning money.
In addition, childcare is the responsibility of both parents. It is clear that both men and women have qualities and skills are able to raise and educate their kids, no matter their gender. If we say that childcare is for female only, children will be under the impression that women are just “nannies” and the only thing their mothers can do is taking care of them. It could make children, especially young girls think that they do not need to be good at studying such as science because it is dominated by men, not them.
To summarize, it is important that both male and female should share childcare duties as they have their own qualities and skills. Besides, women and men should also be allowed to focus on work and become children’s role models.