Please review my IELTS Writing Task 2

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Living unhealthily, lack of exercise, imbalanced eating are some reasons that lead to illnesses to people. While some people do not need to use medical treatment, some people have to use it. In my point of view, people who make themselves ill because of unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets need to lay out more for health care.
The fact that there is no excuse for being unaware of the sequels of living detrimentally. Information about health and fitness is wisely available on the Internet, on posters, on television. Additionally, there are also some TV programmes about how to be in good physical condition. Furthermore, health care services are being developed significantly so that people can consult advices from doctor, sport trainer or nutritionist. We have health propaganda from government organizations, quality health care services hence people must have responsibility for being physically fit and should not receive free or reduced health care services.
Besides, the development of medical treatment goes hand in hand with the increase of payment so it is inequitable to let people who do not care about their own health require treatment with the same payment with others. In other words, they are taking money and life away from another patient, whose treatment is compulsory although it is high-priced. Rising the cost of health care could be a good solution to make people more conscious of keeping fit. It also narrows down medical burden and saves more money for other patients who are having bad physical condition.
In conclusion, paying more for health services is necessary to people who live unhealthily and have poor diets. It not only helps people raise awareness of their bad lifestyles but also reduces financial and medical burden for other patients.