Please review my Ielts writing task 2!

Topic: whether or not someone archive their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While some people believe that the way of gaining success is that we must have a lot of luck, I strongly disagree with this view.

On the one hand, I believe that hard-working character is one of the most crucial skill that you need to pursue your successful career. It is easy to see in Steve Job’s situation. He spent thousands of hours coding and experimenting to create the great Macintosh operating system that we use nowadays. And another person who attain his big goals with his industrious personality is Nick Vujicic. He is a motivational speaker, who suffered from a rare disorder which resulted in the absence of four limbs. Despite not having any hands or legs, he graduated with a double degree in accountancy and financial fields. He had own family and now he travels around the world to inspire people as a motivational speaker.

On the other hand, there are many reasons why luck is not a crucial factor to become successful. First, people cannot solely be reliance on luck to complete their tasks. For example, if you do not study for an exam, you will easy to fail, no matter how lucky you may be. Second, luck contributes to short term fortune. For instance, winning a lottery completely depends on luck because this goal does not require you to do anything. You can win one or two lotteries, but you cannot win the lottery for the rest of your life.

In conclusion, I completely contend that instead of hoping a luck, you should have hard-working skill to follow your passion till the end.