Please review my IELTS writing task 1, thanks

The charts below show what the UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two bar charts illustrate the destinations of graduate and postgraduate students in the UK who did not have full-time jobs after completing their education in 2008. They are classified into four different categories: part-time work, voluntary work, further study, and unemployment.

Overall, despite the sheer difference in numbers, graduates and postgraduates showed considerable resemblance in after-graduating life, as evidenced by their preference for each destination. Furthermore, in every category excluding part-work, graduates outnumbered postgraduates by approximately ten to one.

In detail, further study was invariably the most popular choice. 29,665 graduates and 2,725 postgraduates continued their education, the highest number of any category. Part-time work ranked second in popularity, as it attracted 17,735 graduates and 2,535 postgraduates. Unemployment was less common, though there were still a significant number of graduates and postgraduates who became jobless, at 16,235 and 1,625 each. Voluntary work was the least attractive to both student groups, with only 3,500 graduates and 345 postgraduates volunteering.