Please review my IELTS writing task 1, thanks.

Question

The chart below shows annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The grouped bar chart shows how many films were sold and rented every year from a certain store between 2002 and 2011. The sales are divided into three media types: VCD, DVD, and Blu-ray.

Overall, film rentals were in steady decline, as were VSH sales. Films in this format were no longer on sale from 2006 onwards. By comparison, there was a slow increase in the sales of Blu-ray films, which were introduced in 2007 when DVD sales happened to reach a peak.

In detail, VSH sales dropped from approximately 85,000 in 2002 to nil in 2006, while Blu-ray sales climbed from about 2,000 in 2007 to roughly 15,000 in 2011. Regarding DVD sales, while they were outnumbered by film rentals by approximately 185,000 to 48,000 in 2002, the situation began to be reversed in 2004, when about 175,000 DVDs were sold, compared with nearly 165,000 films rented. Thereafter, DVD sales rose to a high of roughly 215,000 in 2007 before falling back to 180,000 in 2012. By comparison, the number of films rented decreased at a relentless pace to 55,000 in 2012.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The grouped bar chart shows how many films were sold and rented every year from a certain store between 2002 and 2011. The sales are divided into three media types: VCD, (Be sure to copy correctly.) DVD, and Blu-ray.

Overall, film rentals were in steady decline, as were VSH sales. Films i

Overall, film rentals were in steady decline, as were VSH sales. Films in this format were no longer on sale from 2006 onwards. By comparison, there was a slow increase in the sales of Blu-ray films, which were introduced in 2007 when DVD sales happened to reach a peak.

In detail, VSH sales dropped from approximately 85,000 in 2002 to nil in 2006, while Blu-ray sales climbed from about 2,000 in 2007 to roughly 15,000 in 2011. Regarding DVD sales, while they were outnumbered by film rentals by approximately 185,000 to 48,000 in 2002, the situation ~~began to be~~ reversed in 2004, when about 175,000 DVDs were sold, compared with nearly 165,000 films rented. Thereafter, DVD sales rose to a high of roughly 215,000 in 2007 before falling back to 180,000 in 2012. By comparison, the number of films rented decreased at a steady ~~relentless~~ pace to 55,000 in 2012.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Sample essay:

The bar chart plots the number of sales of films in three formats, VHS, DVD and Blu-ray, each year by one store between 2002 and 2011. Rentals of all types of films are also shown.

Overall, in 2002 the store did much more business in renting films than selling them, but by 2011 the business was dominated by sales. Transactions peaked in 2007, the first year that blu-ray became available.

In 2002, the store did over 182,000 rentals compared to sales of 130,000 units, consisting of 82,000 VHS and 48,000 DVD films. Rentals declined at a steady rate of just over 12,000 per year, ending at 58,000. VHS sales decreased at an even faster rate; none were sold after 2005. These declines were offset by increasing DVD sales which peaked at 212,000 in 2007; the total of sales and rentals that year were higher than in 2002, 342 versus 312 thousand. Business slowed after that, even though there were small rising quantities of Blu-ray disks sold. In 2011, the transactions totaled 243,000, consisting of 180,000 DVDs, 48,000 rentals and 12,000 Blu-rays.

Please review my IELTS writing task 1, thanks.

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