Please review my IELTS writing task 1 and give me some advice to improve it
The two given maps delineate renovations to the nature museum from 2010 to 2015. From an overall perspective, the most striking change was the extension to the right of the property and the construction of more exhibition and commercial areas.
The entrance, the table ticket and the lobby at the centre of the museum remained unchanged between two years, while the dome-shaped ocean hall situated to the rear was expanded in 2015. The dinosaurs room still stood to the left of the lobby as it was in 2010.
The ice age and insect areas were added adjacent to the dinosaurs and the ocean hall at the expense of the space for mammals. The green area was demolished in favour of a newly erected room. The mammals’ display was at the left of this room’s entrance, while there was an introduction of an area for human exhibition. Shops and café were also built at the corner for commercial purpose.
Top answer
The two given [ 1 ] maps delineate renovations to diagrams show the layout of the [ 2 ] N ature M useum [ 3 ] from in 2010 to and in [ 4 ] 2015. From an O veral l, perspective, the most striking change was the extension to the right of the property building and the construction of more exhibition and commercial areas. [ 5 ] In 2010, the building had two main sections: the dinosaurs hall on the left and the lobby on the right.
- The two given [ 1 ] maps delineate renovations to diagrams show the layout of the [ 2 ] N ature M useum [ 3 ] from in 2010 to and in [ 4 ] 2015.
- From an O veral l, perspective, the most striking change was the extension to the right of the property building and the construction of more exhibition and commercial areas.
- [ 5 ] In 2010, the building had two main sections: the dinosaurs hall on the left and the lobby on the right.
- There was the semicircular Ocean Hall north of the lobby, and a mammals area left of the Ocean Hall and north of the Dinosaurs Hall.
- To the right of the building, there were some trees outside.
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The two given [ 1] maps delineate renovations to diagrams show the layout of the [ 2] Nature Museum [ 3] from in 2010 to
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