Please review my IELTS WRITING TASK 1

Question

The bar chart shows the reusing of waste collected between 2011 and 2015, is measured by tons. Overall, the trend of recycling paper, glass, tins and garden increases over the period.

In 2011, the amount of collected paper was 57 tons. In spite of some fluctuations, the year 2019 witnessed dramatical growth in recycling paper. This figure reached 70 tons and was the highest among other typs of waste collected. While the amount of paper waste collected changed considerably, the tons of recycling glass went up slightly. In 2011, glass collected was 48 tons, then rose slowly about 52 tons at the end of the period, less 18 tons than paper waste.

During 5 years over the period, the trend of recycling tins and garden remained stable. There was a slightly increase in tins collected, from 35 tons to 39 tons. Likewise, the amount of recycling garden rose to 35 tons.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please post essays in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Please read my advice on Task 1. You make all the usual mistakes.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

The bar chart shows the reusing (wrong word) of waste collected (The chart does not show reusing waste. What does it show?) between 2011 and 2015, is measured by tons. (ungrammatical sentence.) Overall, the trend (wrong word. ) of recycling paper, glass, tins and garden (wrong phrase - we do not recycle gardens. We walk in gardens and enjoy the flowers. ) increases over the period.

In paragraph 1, just describe the aspects of the chart. Do not describe anything about the data. Your first paragraph was not complete.

Model:

The bar chart shows the amounts of waste material in four different categories collected each year between 2011 and 2015 at a recycling center. The four types of waste are paper, glass, tin and organic matter from gardens. The amounts are measured in tons.

In 2011, the amount of collected paper was 57 tons. In spite of some fluctuations, (wrong word) the year 2019 witnessed dramatical (wrong word) growth in recycling paper. This figure (wrong word) reached 70 tons and was the highest among other typs (wrong spelling) of waste collected. While the amount of paper waste collected changed considerably, the tons of recycling glass went up slightly. In 2011, glass collected was 48 tons, (ungrammatical) then rose slowly about 52 tons at the end of the period, less 18 tons than paper waste. (ungrammatical)

Some example observations;
In four of the five years, more paper was recycled than the other categories. Amounts ranged between 40 tons in 2013 and 70 in 2015.
More total waste was collected in 2015 than in 2011 in every category. The total tonnage was the least in the year 2012.
Garden waste was the least amount collected in every year, from a low of 15 tons in 2012 to its highest point of 35 tons in 2015.
The types with the smallest variation were glass and tin; ranging between 41 and 52 tons, and 27 and 39 tons, respectively.

During 5 years over the period, (wrong phrase ) the trend (wrong word) of recycling tins and garden remained stable. There was a slightly (wrong form) increase in tins collected, from 35 tons to 39 tons. Likewise, the amount of recycling garden (wrong phrase - we do not recycle gardens. We walk in gardens and enjoy the flowers. ) rose to 35 tons.

Please review my IELTS WRITING TASK 1

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