PLEASE REVIEW MY IELTS WRITING ACADEMIC

hi, I'm taking the IELTS in 5 days, can you review my essay, grade it (IELTS ACADEMIC), and point out my mistakes or what I could have done better. I really appreciate your comments and grading. Thank you!

QUESTION:

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic.

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

ANSWER:

I agree with the opinion that working in groups can teach a person more important life skills than those activities that everyone works on their own.

Firstly, team activities will teach you to work and cooperate in groups. Most companies, regardless of scale, will require their employees to work in teams so it is beneficial for everyone's best interest to have prior experience in groups. A team is more effective than every single individual combined because it can make good use of a member's strength to compensate for the other's weakness, therefore creating a safe environment that nourishes and incentivizes ideas and innovations.

Furthermore, group activities are also chances for people to learn how to be a leader. It is obvious that at some point if you want to advance in your career, you must be in charge of a team or department. And that is when leadership skills are needed. Participating in group activities provides invaluable chances for anyone to learn from their leaders. From basic communication skills to the way that a leader can inspire everyone; from organizing and planning activities to managing people and relationships, etc, all can be learned through observing the leader and self-reflection.

Finally, working in teams teaches you how to cooperate, handle relationships and just be a better person in general. Humans are social animals so we instinctively live and work in groups. Team activities are safe environments for everyone to express themselves and make mistakes so that they can learn from them and adjust their thoughts and behavior so that it is beneficial to society as a whole.

In conclusion, I agree that group or team activities teach a person many essential skills for life than those "solo" activities. Working in groups will teach you to cooperate, provide you the chance to learn from your predecessor, handle relationships, and just overall be a better person.