Please review my IELTS writing

I have tried to write two essays both task 1 and task2 within a day in order to prepare myself for the upcoming IELTS exam. I have posted task 1 for evaluation and this is task 2, I wrote it just after task 1. Could you please help me review this task 2 written about advertising? Thanks a bunch.

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Topic:

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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And here is the essay:

While the success of advertising in encouraging the consumption of products is undeniable, there are perspectives believing that people have lost interest in advertising due to its ubiquity. In my opinion, advertisements still have an important role to play in sales uplift.

On the one hand, nobody would dispute the fact that the presence of social media has become an underpinning platform for the advertising industry to thrive on. It is to say that the rapid speed of spreading information with little payment concerning posting fees change the way products are used to be advertised. Seeding posts appear every time people surf the internet; therefore, it piques their curiosity about the item. Although some people seem not to be in need of the product, as a result, they start to consume in order just to test the quality and compare it to the advertisement. Moreover, it is more likely for consumers to buy goods they have been familiarized with through advertisements.

On the other hand, the inundation of information about a vast array of products on a daily basis may make people be indifferent to them. Because of being bombarded with too many descriptions and promises of an amazing product, it creates confusion for consumers, putting them in a labyrinth of choices. In some cases, in the shadow of repetitive advertisements, consumers are plunged to quit accepting new products because of being fed up with them. Looking on the brighter side, fortunately, it seems that advertising company usually has a strategy to deal with this. In other words, they have been carried out multiple surveys online, asking for people's opinions of an ideal advert so that they can tailor theirs to meet the expectation of the buyers. Doing so does not only show the consumer how respectful the company are to their potential consumers, but also minimize the chance of people turning their back to the adverts. It holds true that today most of the ads are short and interesting, attracting a certain number of watchers.

In conclusion, despite popping up too frequently can leave a buying withdrawal impact on consumers, I believe that unless there is a careful marketing and acute advertising plan, it is of difficult for a product to make profits.

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Thanks again,

Elysia Ng.