Please Review My IELTS Task 2 Writing

TASK 2: Some people think that men and women have different qualities that make men more suitable for certain jobs, and women more suitable for others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

MY WRITING:

It is sometimes argued that gender is a crucial factor in determining qualities that are suitable for certain jobs. Personally, I completely agree with this view.

The first reason relates to physical strength. It is undeniable that males are endowed with masculinity which helps them come out on top in the labour market. Most men are strong enough to be prioritised to hard work. These could range from mechanical engineering to chemical engineering or at least compulsory military service. Females, in contrast, are always defined as the weaker sex and cannot be put in extreme conditions of work. Born with feminist perspectives on their bodies, women usually have a tendency to aim at not very heavy work.

The second reason relates to characteristics of both sexes. It is easy to catch sight of male-dominated companies where all the top management positions are occupied by men. This is probably because men have traditionally been seen as more ruthless, more able to deal with the cut-and-thrust of business while women are known as sentimental and are often affected by an array of psychological effects. Therefore, feminine features really deter females from getting access to some stressful jobs such as: physician, IT manager, surgeon,...

In conclusion, for the reason I have mentioned above, I maintain that some particular jobs require their own qualities that specially exist in males or females. Hence, both sexes need to take advantage of inborn qualities to become more productive at work.

(243 words)