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Xxcoralandxx Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my Ielts task 2 . Much appreciated!

Smacking is the best way to discipline children. To what extend do you agree/disagree?

Disciplining children has become a debatable topic of discussion in recent years. Some parents believe that corporal punishment is vital to control and reform the behavior of their children. This essay will argue that smacking is a completely ineffective method.

The parenting style in some families describes raising children through violent can maintain the children's behavior in a more positive level. Indeed, there have been some cases where a disobedient child behaves better, only after they have been exposed to physical discomfort. The fear and trauma of the incident are reminders for the child that the next time they misbehave, they will receive the same treatment; therefore, preventing the child from displaying bad manners. A recent study shows that 30% of Vietnamese college graduates had been through some forms of corporal punishment as minors. As a result, some parents are reasonably convinced that the best form of discipline is to deliberately inflict pain on children, thus entirely disregarding the emotions and feelings of their son or daughter.

Although this method may work for some households, the idea of using corporal punishment is entirely unacceptable. There are far more civilized ways to educate a child without hurting or causing them any pain. Physical punishment should serve as the last attempt; as explaining to the child about the consequences of their actions will help them remember the lessons better, thus reducing the likelihood of their repeating the mistake in the future. As a matter of fact, it is reported that adults who had been punished severely as a child, tend to develop post-traumatic stress disorder from childhood trauma, and are more likely to be diagnosed with personality disorders. Overall, the idea of instilling aggressive discipline in children is ill-informed and dangerous in itself; hence it could potentially lead to a far worse outcome for the child.

This essay argued that parents, who are firm believers in violent treatment, underestimate the consequences of what they believe in. In my opinion, smacking children is utterly unjustifiable and should not be practiced anywhere in the world

  

Top answer

Disciplining children has become a debatable topic of discussion in recent years. (That is not a very good opening sentence. It looks like you have memorized this pattern and use it for all essays.

  • Disciplining children has become a debatable topic of discussion in recent years.
  • (That is not a very good opening sentence.
  • It looks like you have memorized this pattern and use it for all essays.
  • ) Some parents believe that corporal punishment is vital to control and reform the behavior of their children.
  • This essay will argue (They asked for your opinion, not some essay's opinion.
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Disciplining children has become a debatable topic of discussion in recent years. (That is not a very good opening sentence. It looks like you have memorized this pattern and use it for all essays. ) Some parents believe that corporal punishment is vital to control and reform the behavior of their children. This essay will argue

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