Please review my IELTS Task 2 essay. Thank you so much!

Topic: A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

Discuss both views and give your opinion?

My essay:

More and more people argue that animals should be protected from human exploitation and we should grant rights for them which is similar to humans. While others believe that animals are essential parts providing resources for daily meals and research to enhance people’s lives. Personally, I can understand the opposing points of views people should employ it or not.

On the one hand, we can see that animals do not feel pain in the same way as humans. Their nervous systems are less developed. Therefore, animals should be sacrificed to do some good for human such as food and research serving. For instance, to test potentially life-saving medicine. The pain we inflict on an animal through animal testing, is far less devastating to a life than the pain we seek to cure in a human being’s life. In addition, animals do not share in the network of duties and responsibilities that give people right. For that reason, in order to get rights, it requires contribution to society in the form of taxes, voting and so on. Animal do none of that. Therefore, it is fairly inappropriate to grant animals rights in the same way as we grant rights to humans

On the other hand, some people argue that we should treat animals like as humans and there are increasing numbers of people disproving to exploit animals. If so, people can not provide to their body enough essential nutrition for diversity daily activities, we will get sick easier. Moreover, without medicine testing on animal, people will not discover treatment or increase the likelihood of human errors to cure diseases for patients. Therefore, It leads to people have to suffer more diseases.

Inconclusion, using animal for the right purpose to make our lives better is more favorable than prohibiting, however, we have to protect animals from cruel and unnecessary pain.