Please review my IELTS Task 2 Essay. Thank you!

Greeting everyone. I'm about to have my IELTS test, so practicing is very important to me now. I would be very grateful if somebody can review my Task 2 essay for me.

Topic: Some people feel that healthcare provision should be free, while others believe that healthcare should be paid for by the individual. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As life quality becomes better and better, our views on healthcare has also changed. Some believe that free medical services should be available to everyone. But this idea is opposed by many others, who assume that it is the individual's responsibility to pay for his or her own services. This essay will elaborate on both opinions, and prove that free healthcare is much more essential for a modern society.

Supporters of paid healthcare are not without rational reasons. The money from health services will be used for three main purposes - to operate and maintain medical facilities, to fund researches and developments on new technology, and to benefit pharmacy companies that produced medicines. These are all expensive operations and cannot be powered by the government's resources alone. As a result, patients are required to share some of the cost by paying for the services they receive.

However, making citizens pay for healthcare is not the only option. By raising income-based taxes, a country may be able to gather enough money to provide free medical services for the public. Rich people will have to pay more tax money, which will benefit the poor who cannot afford paid services. Therefore, this action will not only improve the general life condition for everyone, but also help reduce the development gap between two major classes in the society.

In conclusion, although paid services are still the norm, it is necessary to introduce free healthcare in the future. Only by doing so can humanity complete our vision of equality, where everyone can afford to take care of their own health.