Please review my IELTS task 2 essay

For some people, making a lot of money is an important goal. Others think that their free time is more important than wealth. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Some people consider making a good living as a crucial life goal, while others contend that having much spare time is more important than financial richness. Further analysis will help in assessing both sides, and I believe both factors are must-haves in my life.

Generating a substantial income benefits people's lives in several ways. For example, those who are financially fit can cover all their daily expenses, such as clothes or electricity and water bills, with little difficulty, and have a considerable budget to purchase and live in high-quality accommodation full of amenities. Furthermore, they can also provide themselves with excellent educational and healthcare services, both of which require a huge sum of money to pay. As a result, they would be able to enjoy a much higher life quality compared to that of people who earn low salaries. Thus, it can be concluded that having a handsome payment is of crucial importance because it offers people a convenient life.

Conversely, other people give more priority to free time than material wealth. This is because with a large amount of free time available, they can engage in several hobbies to discover which one they like the most, or travel with their beloved ones to famous tourist attractions to enjoy the spectacular scenery there. Both of these activities would allow them to alleviate the pressure in their minds, which is caused by a constant period of hard work, and hence feel uplifting. Eventually, they can recharge their mental batteries and experience an enormous dose of optimism to continue living positively.

In conclusion, both earning a lot of money and not being busy frequently bring advantages to people. in my opinion, my life needs to have a combination of both factors so that I would avoid facing the obstacles stemming from financial shortages and relax whenever I wish to.