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Hoaittt16 Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please Review My IELTS Task 2 Essay

In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

Nowadays, thanks to the advanced technology development, there are more and more young people who have a richer and healthier life. However, they still feel depressed instead of happy. While there are certain reasons for this problem, solutions can be taken to improve this situation.

One probable cause of the problem is that they do not have enough time for themselves and other private relationships. In particular, young people devote the time to pursue a successful career, which helps them to move up career ladder with higher salary to earn a living. As a result, there is not enough time to meet relatives and make friends, which leads to an impersonal life. Therefore, they have to heavily suffer from stress themselves without sympathy and sharing from friends. Another reason for this is that young people compare themselves to others, which leads to peer-pressure. For example, a student always wonders why he tries his best in whole semester but gets lower results than his friend. This comparison lasting in the long time may lead to sadness and depression, which is the reason why many young people hurt themselves to release this feeling.

One solution which could implemented to solve this problem is to balance work and life. To be more specific, besides working, young people should spend time to visit parents, make friends and take part in some meaningful social projects. This helps them to widen relationships, brings more cheerful social interactions. Another effective way is to share frequently not only interests and hobbies but also failure and difficulties with family and close friends. Obviously, family and friends may give them some useful advices and suggestions to overcome troubles positively.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for a less happy life of youth in some countries. If the solutions mentioned above were implemented well, the problem would be soon improved.

  

Top answer

Nowadays, thanks to the advanced technology development, (This is a favorite memorized phrase. It is quite meaningless. Use something more relevant.

  • Nowadays, thanks to the advanced technology development, (This is a favorite memorized phrase.
  • It is quite meaningless.
  • Use something more relevant.
  • I give an example) thanks to modern medicine and sanitation eliminating many fatal diseases and extending longevity, there are more and more young people who have a richer and healthier life.
  • However, they still feel depressed instead of happy.
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Nowadays, thanks to the advanced technology development, (This is a favorite memorized phrase. It is quite meaningless. Use something more relevant. I give an example) thanks to modern medicine and sanitation eliminating many fatal diseases and extending longevity, there are more and more young pe

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