Please review my IELTS Task 2 essay.

Topic:

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world. In the interest of public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco.

Do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

In recent years, the rate of illness from cigarettes has been growing at a high rate and sometimes this leads to death. I personally agree that governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products.

First and foremost, cigarettes could be the main cause of quick death. This mainly because one cigarette contain more than four thousand chemical substances and it cause for many dangerous diseases such as heart attacks, asthma, bronchitis or lung cancer. For example, five years ago, about six million people died because of smoking. Looking at this , everyone can understand how many children have lost their parents, or whether how many parents have lost their children.

Furthermore, there are over one billion smokers in the world, and they smoke over five billion cigarettes, and throw away more then one million tons of cigarette butts. And this cigarette butts harmful not only to the environment , but also to people. This means that because of smokers might die a large number of people.

Finally, everyone should know how much area is occupied by tobacco culture, because it is occupying a large area, about four billion hectares. If in these areas were grown wheat or rice , then many people would not die because of hunger. Or if there were built multi-story houses, then many peoples would find refuge. So that such incidents do not happen , governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products.

In conclusion, I believe that governments will ban cigarettes and other tobacco products and will reduce the number of death.