Please review my IELTS task 2 essay

Task 2: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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My essay:

In these days, there are a number of people arguing that pursuing higher education is the idealist path to become successful, while others think having a job after they finish school is more beneficial. In my opinion, these two paths both have different merits.

There are a variety of benefits when young people choose to study at university or college. First of all, this is one of the most necessary requirements to differentiate the ability of candidates. Most companies require university degrees because they think this is the best scale to compare the capability and knowledge of individuals. Since university provide young people with more qualifications for their career path, they will have more chance to show employers their deep knowledge and have the top salary jobs. Secondly, the university or college degree might help them to choose the best jobs in the competitive markets. While there are a variety of young people earning degrees, it might be hard for them to find a job without any qualifications, but if they pursue higher education at the university, they could have more opportunities to have a wider range of jobs they want.

However, working straight after graduation provides many merits too. First, young people could be more independent from their parents. They can earn their own money, and thus, buying things they want is possible. In particular, owning a house or buying a car at their young age is on their own hands. Second, this path will help them master their profesions faster than pursing higher degrees. They could have more time to experience practical skills related to their chosen jobs right after they finish school, leads to faster promotion.

In conclusion, each paths has its own benefits. Studying higher in university or college might be suitable for who has the academic ability, whereas working straighforwardly after school will be best for people who like to be successful in a faster way. However, I think I would choose to study in university or college because of its merits in the long run.

Thank you!