Please review my IELTS task 2 essay

Topic: Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

Volunteer activities are suggested to be included in the high school curricula compulsively. While I agree that taking part in community services can be beneficial for the students and society in general, I strongly believe that we should not force young people to do unpaid work.

It is undeniable that the main principle of unpaid community services is that it only works best basing on the volunteer spirit of participants. Therefore, forcing high school students joining in these activities not only goes agaisnt their will, but also hamper their own working or studying schedules and could potentially harm ones in need. More specifically, students who are not particularly enthusiastic about teaching sports for young children can neglect their duties or just do not want to make connection with the children. Either way is a waste of time and likely to hurt the feeling of those who are helped.

Furthermore, high school curricula are usually loaded with various subjects and extracurrucular activities. As a resullt, putting additional responsibility may impose undue burden on students' studies which already take up most of their time with homework and exams. With little spare time left, young people should be encouraged to enjoy it with their friends or to spend it doing leisure activities such as bicycling, reading or listening to music. Therefore, high school students in such an impressionable age should take care of themselves first, both physically and mentally, rather than participate in community services. They have manty years of work ahead when finishing their study.

In conclusion, teenagers may choose to do unpaid work and help others, but I am of the opinion that we should not make it compulsory.