Please review my IELTS Task 2 essay.

Thank you for your time and effort helping me.

Topic: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an satisfactory job or a shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include and relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

My essay:

People have different views about handling bad situations in life by either accepting or ameliorating it. While others choose to accept that circumstance such as working an unsatisfied or low-paid job, I strongly believe that taking steps to improve the problems will bring more advantages.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why accepting bad situations will face more disadvantages. Firstly, they are likely to get stressed from doing jobs that do not fulfill them, resulting in unhealthy lifestyles. Secondly, people need to earn enough money to cover their daily living expenses. If they work in a low-paid job, they won’t have sufficient money to pay a good health care and education conditions for their lives and their future generations as well, so this approach puts more pressure on them. Finally, those people will not create better opportunities for themselves and their following generations to develop both academically and personally. For example, their potentials need to experience hard-working periods to build, so people can not be better without giving a try to improve themselves in order to change bad situations.

On the other hand, people often find ways to overcome barriers and strive for their goals to live a better live. People can alleviate their financial burdens which will not affect their self-development and loved ones, and then they pay for important services that can help them live well. For instance, having enough money can pay for a good education which lays essential skills on them to be successful in professional working environment. Furthermore, someone choosing to enhance their situation will build their skills. They know how to evaluate arguments, assess evidences and adapt their thinking, so they can stay engaged in different situations that will lead them to success. I would argue that those people will not only gain benefits, live a good life, but also contribute good values for societies.

In conclusion, while some people don’t choose to step out of bad situations, I would argue that improving approach is much more favorable than accepting it.