Please review my IELTS task 2

Topic:

Schools should prepare students for the labour market and not waste tme and resources on theoretcal knowledge. Do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

Unquestionably, educational institutions are responsible for providing students with both practical and theoretical knowledge. However, there exists a belief that preparing students for participating in the workforce should be the institutions’ priorities and that It’s worthless broadening horizons. I’m strongly opposed to such a view.

First, taking part in the labor force requires an immense source of conceptual understanding. Without theoretical knowledge, critical thinking abilities are lost, soon followed by a loss of cultural identity, tolerance towards people, and the ability to broaden one's horizons. It’s also impossible to step into the labor market without a fundamental grasp of the market’s functionality. A fabric maker, for example, must have a general comprehension of fabric and cloth manufacture before putting it into practice. In other words, hands-on experience and theoretical knowledge are inseparable.

Second, graduates with less instructions tend to permanently stick to their career. This implies that they are constrained by what they have already learnt and have grown significantly more reliant on the state of their specific sector. Consider a petroleum extraction specialist who lost his job due to the collapse of the oil market. Because of how specialized his abilities are, he cannot simply go to another profession; instead, he would either need to go back to school to acquire new, marketable skills or wait for the oil market to recover. This guy may have been more well-rounded and able to adapt to changes in his business if he had been provided with a theoretical knowledge base.

In conclusion, theoretical knowledge is, without a doubt, invaluable and I believe that schools should strike a balance between the two aspects so that students are given the best employment chances.