Please review my IELTS task 2.

Topic: Some people think that while space reasearchs are beneficial to humankind, the money to fund which should be used for essential need. Do you agree or disagree.

Finding an existing extraterrestrial lifeforms out there in space has alway been humanity's hefty ambitions. In an attempt to achieve that big dream, a tremendous amount of money has been allocated from many governments in the world for space exploration which raises a controversial opinion that instead of spending money for research, authorized bodies should utilize those cash for more practical demands. To me, I am completely concur with the angle stated above.

To begin with, it has to be acknowledged that the money being utilized for space demands is huge, therefore it can be diverted for many realistic purposes.As proof, in some developing nations, fundamental infrastructures such as parks, schools and recreational facilities are in poor condition and just scattered along the country. Therefore, by sponsoring money to these countries, we will raise the living standard of those citizens, thereby augmenting tech-savvy and accomplished forces which will be beneficial to not only their own country but also the whole globe. Also, by funding more money, we will inevitably drop the mortality rate down as now people have access to modern medical facilities, conventional as well as contagious diseases could be prevented.

In addition to the aforementioned, although space races may be advantageous to humanity, those people who actually profit from it are the noble and wealthy ones, not the underprivileged. To clarify, we can clearly see that the one who truly monetize using space exploration is the space agency, the people who fund the project as well as some exclusive one.So conspicuously, not every individual benefit from space researches, moreover, those who are marginalized from space projects sometimes have to pay their own money for taxes which will then be allocated into funding for research.

In conclusion,I am not convinced that space exploration is advantageous to humanity, therefore sponsoring space programs is certainly redundant.