Please review my IELTS task 1 writing, thank you
The bar chart below shows the percentage of overweight men and women, Australia 1980-2010
The bar chart illustrates the difference between rate of obesity in men and women of Australia in 1980, 1990, 2000, and 2010.
Overall, it appears that there were larger proportion of overweight in men population than that of in women. The trend in both sexes seemed to be increasing since 1980 until 2000 and flattened out in women, with a slight decrease in men afterward.
From 1980 to 1990 in male population, the rate slowly increased from well over 45% to little more than 50%. In 2000 however, the percentage shot up by nearly 20% reaching 70% of all Australian men. Not until 2010 did it declined to a little less than 70%.
In contrast to the male's data, it showed that there were less obese women amongst all females. The rate in 1980 was around 30%, steadily climbed by 10% for each ten years and stayed unchanged at 50% from 2000 to 2010.
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- For Task 1, put three things in your post: 1.
- The instructions.
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- An image of the infographic 3.
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You did not post the complete instructions. For Task 1, put three things in your post:
1. The instructions.
2. An image of the infographic
3. Your answer
The chart gives information about the percentage of overweight men and women in Australia from 1980 to 2010. Please read my advice for Task 1 essays.
0The bar chart illustrates (read my advice. poor word choice) the difference between (wrong description. The values are not subtracted from each other.) rate (wrong word. There are no rates on the plots Read my advice on misused vocabular
0
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