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Nờ Nờ Gia Hân Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my IELTS Task 1 writing

This is my writing for these bar charts. please evaluate it, thanks a bunch for your evaluation and kindness.

Task 1:

The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age

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My writing:


The charts give information about the purchase of British people on albums of three different genres including Pop, Rock, and Classical based on gender and age in proportion.

We can see that the purchase of males on albums is higher than that of females. People who are prior to the age of 45 prefer buying Pop and Rock albums to Classical ones; however, after this age, the latter is favored.

To begin with, males, with around 20%, buy more Pop albums than females, with 13%. Most purchases of the albums come from 25-to-34-year-olds, which accounted for 25%. There is also a tendency of purchasing amongst 16-24 and 35-44 age groups, while in mid-forties onwards, they do not buy much. Likewise, the percentage of Rock albums bought by males is about 28%, which is 10% more than by females. With over 30%, the bulk buying is of people who fall into the 25 to 34 age group, as opposed to the 16-24 and 35-44 ones, which the figures are around and under 30% respectively. The remaining age purchases the least.

In contrast, Classical albums had the least purchase by both genders-less than 10%. People aged between 16-24 and 35-44 do not in favor of buying the albums, which only make up under 5% in total, whereas it is mostly purchased by older people (above 15% of 25-34 and 20% of 45+).

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Thank you

  
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