Please review my IELTS task 1 - honey bees
I'm really glad if you could give me some feedback too 
thanks
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The diagram below shows the life cycle of the honey bee.
Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
You should write at least 150 words.
my answer:
The diagram illustrates the reproduction of honey bees in one cycle. Overall, the entire life cycle of a honey bee takes from 34 to 36 days to complete. The process consists of six stages, beginning with laying eggs and ending up with mature adult honey bees.
The life cycle begins with laying eggs, a mature female honey bee lays one or two eggs every three days, which hatch after 9 to 10 days. It takes five days to completely hatch out of the egg.
The nymph of the honey bee will moulting three times during the period of its growth. On the seventh day, the honey bees moulted for the first time after hatching, again on the ninth day and again before to be a young adult. The young adult honey bee emerges after 30 to 31 days from the beginning of the cycle, and take 4 days to reach maturity.
Top answer
You barely wrote the minimum number of words. With the repetition, you may lose points for inadequate length. The coherence and cohesion needs improvement.
- You barely wrote the minimum number of words.
- With the repetition, you may lose points for inadequate length.
- The coherence and cohesion needs improvement.
- The diagram illustrates the reproduction lifecycle of honey bees , from egg to mature adult.
- in one cycle .
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You barely wrote the minimum number of words. With the repetition, you may lose points for inadequate length. The coherence and cohesion needs improvement.
The diagram illustrates the reproduction lifecycle of honey bees, from egg to mature adult. in one cycle.
0Sample essay:
The diagram depicts the lifecycle of a honeybee, beginning with an egg, and ending as an adult capable of reproducing.
Overall, the cycle is complete in just over a month, between 34 and 36 days. There are four stages: the egg, the hatching, the nymph, and the immature adult. About equal amounts of time are divided between the first two stages together (egg and its
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