Please review my ielts task 1 essay
Topic:
The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
My essay:
The three pie charts break down the total expenditure of one particular UK school, for 1981, 1991 and 2001, into five budget categories.
Overall, the school paid far more for the mandatory spending categories (salaries and insurance) than the discretionary ones (furniture and equipment, and resources), with paying teachers being the most costly. Furniture and equipment had the largest increase, surpassing other staff’s salaries to end as second-highest position in 2001.
In detail, only two of the five categories, insurance and non-teaching staff’s payment, had a continuous trend. While the former quadrupled from 2% in 1981 to 8% in 2001, the latter dropped by about 6.5% every ten years, ending at 15%. The proportions of the other groups either peaked, teachers’ salaries (a half) and resources (one-fifth), or dipped, furniture and equipment (5%), in the middle year, 1991. Besides insurance, teachers’ salaries, as well as furniture and equipment, also gain a larger share in 2001 compared to 1981, from 40% to 45% and 15% to 23%, respectively. In contrast, the relative cost of resources, taking 15% in 1981, decreased to 9% at the end of the period.
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Top answer
The three pie charts break down the total expenditure of one particular UK school, for 1981, 1991 and 2001, into five budget categories. Overall, teachers’ salaries represented the largest sector in each of those years, [ 1] the school paid far more for the mandatory spending categories (salaries and insurance) than the discretionary ones (furniture and equipment, and resources), with paying teachers being the most costly. While f urniture and equipment had the largest increase, surpassing other staff’s salaries to end as in second -highest position in 2001.
- The three pie charts break down the total expenditure of one particular UK school, for 1981, 1991 and 2001, into five budget categories.
- Overall, teachers’ salaries represented the largest sector in each of those years, [ 1] the school paid far more for the mandatory spending categories (salaries and insurance) than the discretionary ones (furniture and equipment, and resources), with paying teachers being the most costly.
- While f urniture and equipment had the largest increase, surpassing other staff’s salaries to end as in second -highest position in 2001.
- In detail, only two of the five categories, insurance and non-teaching staff’s [ 2] paymen t s , had a continuous trend.
- 5% per decade every ten years, ending at 15%.
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The three pie charts break down the total expenditure of one particular UK school, for 1981, 1991 and 2001, into five budget categories.
Overall, teachers’ salaries represented the largest sector in each of those years, [ 1] the school paid far more for the mandatory spending categories (salaries and insurance) than the discr
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