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Nhi Huỳnh 8836 Posted 3 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my ielts part 2 and give me my score

Many governments are investing in widening roads to tackle traffic issues. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is true that in order to reduce traffic tram, governments are putting their money into the expansion of the roads.

This essay will argue that the advantages of this development are eclipsed by the advantages involved.

It is undeniable that road widening can be advantageous to a certain extent. Chief among these is the road’s expansion will provide more space for transports. This means the vehicles can move more quickly, resulting in the reduction of the time being stuck in a traffic tram. Nonetheless, pavements especially in Vietnam are already small, therefore roads can’t be widened much. Meaning that the change to the width of the road is negligible.

The drawbacks brought about by the government’s measure to this traffic problem, nevertheless, could far outweigh the aforementioned benefits. Regarding the first disadvantage, the narrow pavements resulting from the expansion of the road, can reduce the number of walking people. This is because for them, it is very dangerous to walk too close to the transportations. As a result, these people will start to travel on vehicles and the traffic problems will arise again. The second issue is that a big road will attract more people, thereby witnessing an increase in transports from other roads. This makes the situation worse than before.

In conclusion, this government’s step to tackle the traffic issues can offer several benefits. However, this phenomenon can produce some negative impacts which are of greater significance.

  

Top answer

The first issue with your essay is the number of words. You wrote 235, but the minimum is 250. You will lose points.

  • The first issue with your essay is the number of words.
  • You wrote 235, but the minimum is 250.
  • You will lose points.
  • Aim to write 270-300 words for Task 2.
  • You can use this website to check your word count.
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2 Answers
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The first issue with your essay is the number of words.
You wrote 235, but the minimum is 250. You will lose points.

Aim to write 270-300 words for Task 2.

You can use this website to check your word count.

https://www.ieltsscore.com/word-counter

0

It is true that (Delete. Do not write "It is X that..." These dummy-it clauses add no content to your essay. They make a good sentence very puny and weak.) In order to reduce traffic tram, (wrong word. A tram is an electric bus that rides on rails, like a train. ) governments are

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