Please Review My IELTS General Training WRITING TASK 2

Question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.Write at least 250 words.-------My Answer-------    Whenever I hike, I hope to find routes with fewer and more difficult people to enjoy the peace and wildness of nature. Likewise, with modern transportation and urban construction, more and more people are tired of city life and prefer to go to places with tough conditions.    In my experience, I've been to dozens of places and I don't think all the cities are different. Other than the level of prosperity, I can hardly see any significant difference between Vancouver and Xi'an, even though one is a modern city in Canada and the other is one of the historical cities in China. These days, immersed in work, study, and all the personalized information driven by artificial intelligence technology, people feel more exhausted and stressed. Traveling to places like the wilderness can help relieve people's stress and allow them to focus more on their every step and the beautiful scenery, something rarely seen in busy cities.    However, more news about how people are polluting places or harming local animals during their travels is starting to emerge. Those who are not very conscious of protecting the environment sometimes destroy the ecology. In recent years, I have been to Qinling and found it full of polluted garbage such as bottles, plastic bags, and even cigarettes. This did not happen ten years ago when there were fewer people. In addition, it is dangerous for unqualified people to try to conquer difficult terrain, which can lead to unexpected injuries and even death. Therefore, I think that in order to avoid this phenomenon, people should learn more, exercise more, and create awareness of protecting the environment before going to these places.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You will not get a good score for task response because you were off-topic for most of the essay.

Whenever I hike, I hope to find routes with fewer and more difficult people (A difficult person is one who is nasty, arrogant, bossy and impossible to get along with. They argue with everyone about everything. They certainly are not peaceful and pleasant to be around!) to enjoy the peace and wildness of nature. Likewise, with modern transportation and urban construction, more and more people are tired of city life and prefer to go to places with tough conditions. (You did not answer the prompt, or indicate how you will answer it. The English is ok, but not the content. The task did not ask "Why do people go on vacation to places where nobody can survive?")

~~In my experience,~~ (That is unnatural in this sentence.) I've been to dozens of places and I don't think all the cities are different. Other than the level of prosperity, I can hardly see any significant difference between Vancouver and Xi'an, even though one is a modern city in Canada and the other is one of the historical cities in China. (Off-topic. The task is not about travel to major cities. It is about going to the polar regions with frigid temperatures, and to the extreme deserts with very dry air and no water.) These days, immersed in work, study, and all the personalized information driven by artificial intelligence technology, (I have no idea what you mean here. Do you mean that people are immersed in targeted ads on Facebook? Is that stressful? You have not focused on the task. Read the instructions. ) people feel more exhausted and stressed. Traveling to places like the wilderness can help relieve people's stress and allow them to focus more on their every step and the beautiful scenery, something rarely seen in busy cities.
However, more news about how people are polluting places or harming local animals (That is off-topic. It is about disadvantages for the tourists, not for the place that they visit. You have to focus on the task.) during their travels is starting to emerge. Those who are not very conscious of protecting the environment sometimes destroy the ecology. In recent years, I have been to Qinling and found it full of polluted garbage such as bottles, plastic bags, and even cigarettes. (Off-topic.) This did not happen ten years ago when there were fewer people. In addition, it is dangerous for unqualified (not a good word) people to try to conquer difficult terrain, which can lead to unexpected injuries and even death. Therefore, I think that in order to avoid this phenomenon, (wrong word) people should learn more, exercise more, and create awareness of protecting the environment before going to these places. (off-topic.)

Please Review My IELTS General Training WRITING TASK 2

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