Please Review My IELTS Essay - Writing Task 2. Sincerely Thanks!

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people claim that a father and a mother become positive role models for a child's growth. Besides, others reveal that TV or friends affect children's behaviors for the most part. From my perspective, parents indeed play an essential role in the development of children, and a lack of parental support can negatively affect kids' long-term mental health.

On the one hand, parental guidance spends a significant amount of time taking care of children on the crucial role of educating. As a matter of fact, a father who is the primary breadwinner of the family is responsible for becoming an excellent model for his children. Therefore, offspring profoundly influences what their parents or relatives do in real life, both right and wrong things. In addition, parents encourage children to participate in interactive activities that help them become creative, sociable and make new friends whenever possible. In contrast, kids can lead a sedentary lifestyle if their parents force them to stay at home or propose a list of things they have to do.

On the other hand, TV or friends can significantly influence kids, but it is not the most. Because there is the best smart device or a good friend, but they are not next to anyone forever like parents. Moreover, friends can put children at a higher risk of injuries when they conduct an illegal operation. For example, kids are addicted to smartphones or would like to go out with their friends, but when the phone is broken and friends are busy with their lives, children can experience a feeling of loneliness and isolation.

In conclusion, although it is undeniable that friends and a few other things influence children, I think a kid's development depends a lot on the behaviors of parents.