Please review my IELTS essay-Writing task 1

Question

TOPIC: The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960,1980 and 2000The bar chart illustate transport modes in European city over the period of 2 years since 1960 in different traffics include bus, car, bike and foot. Overall, it is clear that car is more popular, whereas the other had reverse trend.In 1960, walking was the most favorite transport vehicle of local people, indicated by 33%. Bus and bike were followed by figure of 25% and 18% respectively. The percentages of car is the lowest, at 5%.Two year later, the chart changed apparently. The number of bus rose suddenly by 10%. Likewise,the rate saw steeply a growth of car to 23%. By contrast, the data of bike fell by 5% and the least common in 1980 is walking.In 2000, car reached a peak at 35% exactly. However, the quantity of others transport went down to 16% at bus and dropped to 9% at walking. Especialy, the amount of bike dipped considerably by more than a half.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Most of the expressions you have used are incorrect or awkward. You need to study typical phrases and sentences that describe data.

You need to study plural versus singular nouns.

You need to study verb forms. For vocabulary in Task 1, read my advice.

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

The bar chart illustate (wrong word, also wrong verb form) transport modes in a (the indefinite article is required.) European city over the period of 2 years (a period of 2 years would be 1960-1962. That is not what is on this bar chart.) since 1960 in different traffics (wrong word,) include (wrong word, wrong form. Include means that there are more categories than you have listed.) ) bus, car, bike and foot. (You must begin a new paragraph here since the point is not a description of the figure, but the main information content.) Overall, ~~it is clear that~~ car (wrong for,) is more popular, whereas the other (There are three others. Which one do you mean?) had the reverse trend.

You have not told the reader what is being measured and the units of measurement .

Here is an example opening paragraph which describes the bar chart.

The bar chart compares the percentage of travellers by the different ways they used get to and from work in a city in Europe in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Four different means of travel are shown: walking, biking, by car and by bus.

The next paragraph has the main features of the figure, that is, the principle observations.

Overall, over this 40-year period, commuting by car became the most popular means of transport. In 1960, a majority of the people lived close enough to work to walk or bike there. In 2000, half the people used motorized vehicles, cars and busses.

In 1960, walking was the most favorite transport vehicle (wrong word. A vehicle is something you ride in, like a motorbike, train, or bus. Your feet are not vehicles.) of local people, ~~indicated by~~ 33%. Bus and bike ~~were~~ followed by figure (wrong word) of 25% and 18% respectively. The percentages of car (wrong expression), is the lowest, at 5%.

Two year (wrong form) later, (That means 1962) the chart changed apparently. The number of bus (The chart does not plot the number of busses - e.g. 1900 busses in 1960 versus 2500 in 1980.) rose suddenly by 10%. Likewise,the rate (Wrong word. There are no rates on this chart.) saw steeply a growth of car ( wrong expression. The cars did not get bigger. The size of cars people used is not shown on this chart.) to 23%. By contrast, the data of bike (wrong expression) fell by 5% and the least common means to get to and from work in 1980 is was walking.

In 2000, car reached a peak (wrong word) at 35% exactly. However, the quantity of others transport (wrong expression) went down to 16% at bus and dropped to 9% at walking. Especialy, the amount of bike (wrong expression) dipped considerably by more than a half.

Please review my IELTS essay-Writing task 1

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions