Please Review My IELTS Essay / Type: Discussion

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.

Topic:

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

My essay:

People have different views about the advantages and disadvantages of video games. Although playing computer games is beneficial to some extent, I would argue that it has more drawbacks.

On the one hand, video games might have certain entertaining and educational benefits. In terms of entertainment, when playing games, people are often transported to a virtual world and immersed in it. As a result, these players could have great experiences of taking on the role of someone different and exploring extraordinary things, which they might have never had in their real life. From an educational perspective, playing computer games is likely to improve several soft skills such as problem-solving, logical thinking, and teamwork. These skills are beneficial and crucial to people when they need to tackle problems in the real world. For example, many students who are good at playing puzzle video games often have excellent academic performance in math and other science subjects at school.

On the other hand, I believe that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. The first one is that video games could result in several problems of mental health. As computer game with violent contents keeps players occupied for hours, these people tend to become aggressive and ill-tempered. Worse still, due to the lack of physical activity caused by playing video games frequently, several gamers often have severe diseases such as obesity. If these people do not spend that much time on computer games, they would possibly participate in other physical activities, such as playing sports or voluntary activities and get rid of mentioned issues.

In conclusion, while playing video games can have several advantages, I believe that its disadvantages are much greater.

(279 words)