Please review my Ielts essay. Thank you very much!

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In this day and age, various ways of study have appeared on campus. Besides, some people insist that if the children can learn with their peers in the classroom, they can do it more effectively than the online one. However, I partially agree with this point of view due to some reasons below.
Provided that the students study at school, they will easily absorb knowledge with the help of teachers and friends. In addition, at the primary level, when pupils are allowed to either learn or discuss with others in the classroom, it will widen their cultural horizons and create a sense of unity, which is a significant outcome that learning online may find challenging to achieve.
On the other hand, the online study would be beneficial if we could find the right methods for each person. Nevertheless, this might concentrate much on the independence skills of children, which is usually found in teenagers. They have to create a timetable for themselves and must obey it. Whereas nowadays, the teens tend to be lazy, just a small number of them can follow this. Moreover, some inevitable detrimental effects can happen. For instance, the vision would be affected badly if they spend too much time in front of phones, laptops, or even conditions like migraine.
In brief, it seems that the two methods both do a favor for students, but the first approach is particularly better for the long term. After all, if we can utilize different ways of study and use them daily, it will be the most effective for sure.