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Khanhchi1508 Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my IELTS essay. Thank you so much !

Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people may argue that children can freely make mistakes while others hold the belief that adults should protect and avert them from making errors. I believe that each view has its own advantages, in this essay I will elaborate on it.

On the one hand, making mistakes is an inevitable problem for children because their parents are not always by their side all the time. In fact, after making mistakes, children can learn from their invaluable experiences and then possibly do not repeat wrong actions again. This trial and error method can help children in the future as they can develop themselves and become more mature from mistakes they have made. Parent’s intervention sometimes can affect their development, if children are overdependent on adults, they may learn nothing from their mistakes because they tend to take their parent’s help for granted.

On the other hand, parents are prior generations so they can know what is best things for their children. They can avoid their children from making mistakes, especially some severe errors such as becoming addicts, murders, and villains. Some people may argue that averting children from making mistakes may make them cannot become mature and have well-rounded developments. However, without the guidance of adults, children can easily go astray and commit crimes or making some unacceptable errors. Moreover, some parents feel that shielding their children is their responsibility so they often do that whenever they can; in fact, most parents want the best thing will happen for their children.

In conclusion, I feel that the stronger argument is in favor of children should be protected by their adults because of its merits bring. Of course, in some cases, letting children freely make some trivial mistakes can make them more grown-up and have priceless lessons for their own life.



  

Top answer

Some people may argue that children should be allowed to can freely make mistakes and deal the the consequences while others hold the belief that adults should protect and avert them from making errors. I believe that children must be protected from dangerous situations, but in trivial matters, they should have some latitude of learning from their bad choices. I believe that each view has its own advantages, in this essay I will elaborate on it.

  • Some people may argue that children should be allowed to can freely make mistakes and deal the the consequences while others hold the belief that adults should protect and avert them from making errors.
  • I believe that children must be protected from dangerous situations, but in trivial matters, they should have some latitude of learning from their bad choices.
  • I believe that each view has its own advantages, in this essay I will elaborate on it.
  • (In the conclusion, you contradicted your thesis.
  • You have to state your opinion, as in the essay prompt, and then stick with your opinion throughout the whole essay..
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1 Answers
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Some people may argue that children should be allowed to can freely make mistakes and deal the the consequences while others hold the belief that adults should protect and avert them from making errors. I believe that children must be protected

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