Please review my IELTS essay. Thank you so much.

There are more advertisements aimed at children. Some people believe that they have negative effects on children and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

It is undeniable that a rising number of advertisements target children. While advertisers argue that they just provide information about the products, I agree with the view that advertising induces kids to convince them to buy things that are not necessary.

On the one hand, some advertisers claim that their information is useful. Specifically, by comparing similar products, children can learn the way to become smart consumers. Additionally, advertisements sometimes can provide the young with useful information. Take the advertisement of Lifebuoy as an example. By watching them on TV, kids can learn how to wash their hands properly, which is vitally important, especially in the unprecedented COVID-19.

On the other hand, I concur with the critics of those who consider that parents should wary of the ads to which their children are exposed. First, children under a certain age are not able to realize whether they need the products or not. In other words, they tend to be swayed by attractive ads and buy unnecessary goods that can be thrown away in the short term. Furthermore, when it comes to food promotion impacts, such as fast food or confectioneries, kids are inclined to be attracted. As a result, they will persuade their parents to pay buy for them. For example, the long-term high intake of sugar or trans-fat contained in these products can be harmful to children, leading to many chronic diseases, such as obesity or diabetes.

In conclusion, while advertisements sometimes provide essential information, they also put pressure on children, which leads to potential problems in the future.