Please review my IELTS essay. Thank you so much.

Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to the advent of technology, our lives have undergone a drastic change. Life, at present, has become much more comfortable, easy, and dynamic than in the past. While I agree that life has been more complicated since the revolution in technology, I could not imagine how our lives could be without it.

On the one hand, some drawbacks could be seen in the era of technology. First and foremost, it is associated with a sedentary lifestyle. To be more specific, nowadays, young people would prefer to spend more time on technological equipment rather than do outdoor activities, which is associated with an increase in the number of people suffering from obesity or eye problems. Additionally, sophisticated machines and artificial intelligence have replaced the role of humans in the industry in recent years. As a result, many workers become unemployed, which leads to a significant burden on the government for dealing with public problems.

On the other hand, technology brings various advantages to human beings. First, it connects people all over the world. In fact, thanks to the invention of high-tech gadgets such as computers or smartphones, people now can communicate with each other easier than ever before. Furthermore, the Internet enables people to get access to online classes independent of their geographical locations, which is very useful for rural students. Last but not least, smart home appliances make women free from house chores; therefore, they could spend more time on their private work as well as their family.

In conclusion, simplifying by removing technology will make our lives more and more complex. Instead, we need to find a solution to maximize the benefits of technology while minimizing its harmful effects.