Please Review My IELTS Essay. Thank You!

Topic:

Many people believe that the best response to high level of violent crime is to increase the length of prison sentences. Others believe that long prison sentences do nothing to prevent crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

My answer:

There has been a discussion of whether or not if sentencing longer imprisonment is effective to brutal crimes. Even though some people support this idea, others do not see its impact on punishing them. This essay will cover both sides of this idea and states my opinion.

Pros of lingering the imprisonment would be that it increases the chance of having offenders make amends of what for their wrongdoings. With this, it could help their victims and victim’s relatives cure their grief as well.

Moreover, the prison plays the role of a correctional facility for offenders to build a proper sense of morality and never commit a crime again when going back to society.

On the other hand, some people do not see it as a better choice because their life is secured in a sense. A prison provides them a shelter to stay, 3 meals of food, and potentially work opportunities within the prison. There have been cases that some offenders commit crimes repeatedly because they think it is better to live in a prison than to make up for their lives making up of their livings by themselves.

My opinion goes with the latter idea; I believe that longer term of imprisonment has little effect to punish assaulters. Having longer imprisonment also costs higher more to the government, and our tax should not be spent to secure their place to stay.

My country is one of the remaining countries that still execute the death penalty. I personally believe that we can consider it to punish these violent crimes.

Overall, the longer imprisonment could have an effect to some degree but not in all cases. Other harsh punishments could be considered to impose on those who committed crimes.