Please review my IELTS essay. Thank you!

Topic: Some people think news has no connection to people's lives, so then it is a waste of time to read the news in the newspaper and watch television news programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

Some people claim that news is not related to real life, so it is time-consuming to update news on various forms of media. From my perspective, this proposal is not sound because of the benefits that news has on daily life.

There are compelling reasons to say that reading news can be beneficial. This is predicated on the assumption that it can alarm the public of existing and looming problems in their communities. Take, for example, a piece of news on a tragic traffic accident in which a family of 4 lost their lives because the father was driving under the influence of alcohol. Undoubtedly, if people are constantly exposed to this kind of news, they are more likely to avoid drunk driving or try to dissuade their drunk friends from driving. Therefore, by reporting tragic deaths caused by dangerous driving, or cases of cold-blooded murderers, media companies probably help the general public avoid countless problems in their lives.

Another advantage stemming from the dissemination of news is education. This is because there is a huge amount of news that has given inspirational stories about individuals who have faced adversities and have made efforts to overcome these difficulties, which may be incentives for those who are struggling to sustain their lives. Consider 'Dieu Uoc Thu 7', which was a Vietnamese TV show reporting documentaries about people who maintained a positive outlook on life even in severe diseases such as cancer. Such programs have allowed numerous viewers to explore hidden aspects of approaching death patients and be more motivated as a healthier person. Moreover, many charity campaigns were raised after the show that proves it to be promotion for philanthropic actions.

In conclusion, I am of the opinion that news plays a pivotal role in one’s life thanks to the warning of potential problems and education.