Please review my IELTS essay. Thank you!

Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Opinions are divided whether globalization offers numerous merits or adversely affects national identities. This essay will discuss the rationales behind those two views, but I favor the former.

On the one hand, internalization exerts some negative impacts on national specialities. The process of such developments would do away with traditional values and distinctive customs of culture, hence contract cultural diversity when different cultures reflect each other due to the increase of interaction. For instance, the diffusion of Hollywood movies encourages people to adapt lifestyles and attitudes from Western culture and put it into practice on a daily basis, thus, traditional ways of living might face the menace of disappearance. Besides, borderless commerce underlines the necessity of an international language. This results in the world becoming a global village in which people from different regions speak the same language and the disappearance of minor dialects. People may prefer to conduct businesses and communicate in widely used tongues like Chinese or English.

On the other hand, I believe that globalization is more beneficial to accelerate the economy as well as culture. Thanks to globalization, the ease in trade and commerce has fostered the expansion of emerging market economies. For example, it contributes to trade treaties being promoted and signed which can remove both tariff and non-tariff barriers; therefore, exports and imports are enhanced. Take the European Union (EU) as an illustration. Once goods are put into the free circulation of the EU, they are generally possible to be transported freely throughout every country in this organization. Moreover, worldwide interaction also broadens the horizons of foreign values and attitudes, it facilitates cross-cultural appreciation as people obtain more opportunities to travel to other nations. As a result, they will develop deeper insights into characteristics of another country, misunderstandings are likely to be cleared to make way for empathy among people.

For the reasons mentioned above, although cultural convergence is considered to be a deadly threat to national identities, it seems to me that globalization is closely associated with the growth of the worldwide economy and culture.