Please review my IELTS essay. Thank you :)

Topic:

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My essay:

It is often argued that when unhappy conditions happen, the best solution is to live with them instead of trying to ameliorate them. I agree with it to some extent, but I do not think it is the perfect solution for everything.

In my opinion, many bad circumstances can hardly be changed if they need the contribution of many people, require a very long time, consume too much money, or already caused permanent results. One example of that is the tragic loss of millions of people to the COVID-19 pandemic. The dead move on and the living have no choice but to accept the truth. Another example is one of my personal experiences when I traveled to northwest Vietnam. Precious time of childhood of many ethnic children there were not spent in any school but to beg for tourists to buy their handicrafts and colorful embroidered tribal wallets. It was not their parents’ fault to blame that they did not try to refine the living conditions since there should be more supports from the government and many other organizations to offer them free education and raise their life quality up.

However, accepting a bad state might take its toll on people’s mental health. It is much more positive to think of bad situations as difficult challenges that fuel our innovation and survival instinct to overcome them. Through patience, some solutions might appear just like a famous quote, “When one door closes, another opens.” By shedding light on the benefits and drawbacks of each solution, the most reasonable one can be exposed. Even when the disadvantages are much more than the advantages, there is still one last element humans can put on to balance the scale - our positive attitude. For example, looking back on history, superpowers losing small wars to weaker nations is not rare.

In conclusion, accepting or improving a bad situation depends on the weight of the pros and cons of the solutions. However, listing all of the answers is not as easy as distinguishing black and white. Sometimes it is like a prayer, “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”