Please review my IELTS essay task I
Here is my essay:
The line graph gives information about the average number of carbon dioxide emissions in metric tonnes per head in four European countries from 1967 to 2007.
Overview, in the period, average carbon dioxide emissions per person in Italy and Portugal showed a significant upward trend while in Sweden and United Kingdom, they decreased, particularly the average proportion declined sharply in Sweden.
In 1967, the average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom and Sweden were nearly 9 and 11 metric tonnes respectively. In 1977, Sweeden increased to over 10 metric tonnes and then in 1977, it showed a rapidly downward trend to 7 and was exceeded by Italy in 1987. From t987 to 2007, it decreased gradually and accounted for nearly 5.5 metric tonnes at the end of the period. In the meanwhile, the United Kingdom also declined slowly (approximately 2 metric tonnes) between 1967 to 1997 and reached nearly 9 metric tonnes in 1997.
While Sweden and the United Kingdom showed decreases, Italy and Portugal rose significantly. In 1967, average carbon dioxide emissions per Italian increased rapidly from over 4 to above 6 metric tonnes, after that it showed a gradual surge to nearly 8 metric tonnes between 1977 and 1997. Till the end of the period, it remained a steady (8 metric tonnes0. In the meantime, from 1967 and 1987, the average proportion of Portugal showed a significant rise to approximately 4 metric tonnes and then increased rapidly (1 metric tonne) in 1997 and did not grow more in 2007.
P/s: May you score for my essay? What is my band writing now? Thank you
Top answer
You wrote over 250 words, while the minimum is 150. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores. There are many reasons.
- You wrote over 250 words, while the minimum is 150.
- You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores.
- There are many reasons.
- First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for these errors.
- Second, especially in Task 2, your writing may be repetitious and wordy.
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You wrote over 250 words, while the minimum is 150.
You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores. There are many reasons.
First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for these errors.
Second, especially in Task 2, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. In Task 1, you
0The line graph gives information about (That is quite bad. It is vague and not specific. Exactly what is on the graph?) the average number of carbon dioxide emissions in metric tonnes per person
0
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