Please review my IELTS essay task 2! Thank you a lot!

Essay topics:

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Here is my essay:
Nowadays. reading books is more and more increasingly focused and people have different ways to take up this hobby. To a certain extent, I agree that in the future, people will elevate to read free everything on the tablet, smartphone. However, I also think that the printed books will never disappear.

On the one hand, in the future, people enjoy reading information online due to its utilities, especially, they do not have to pay any fee. By contrast to the book, with a smartphone, they can read at any place they want, any time when they are off duty. For example, a paying public, who is quite busy with work, can read news on the Internet while he is on trains. Sometimes, the volume of the books is substantial, so it is too inconvenient for the adults to bring it along, while the smartphone is light and always alongside.

Nevertheless, I also think that the printed newspapers or books will still be favored by many people such as the old. Reading e-books a lot can lead to many health problems. As a case in point, according to many studies conducted by Yale University, a typical person while uses a computer or tablet too much, the risk of issues of the eye will be much higher than people not use these devices. Furthermore, the information on the Internet is not always precise because it does not have as careful investigations and checks as traditional books. It makes users misleading if not search thoughtfully.

To sum up, while I believe that reading everything online without paying is motivated by its utilities, I do not think that the traditional books or newspapers will be obsolescent.

P/s: Can you score my IELTS writing? Thank you a lot!