Please review my IELTS essay task 2! Thank you a lot!

Topic: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
My essay:
In everyone’s life, they have to meet a lot of difficulties before successes, and they have different ways to face these situations. It is a common belief that the best thing people can do is to accept terrible situations from work or finance. However, there is a more persuasive argument that people should try and improve such circumstances.
On the one hand, accepting bad situations is considered to be a safe choice. The younger think that they can not do anything so they agree and compromise. It is due to the fear of making the situation worse and the lack of confidence in themselves. For instance, a normal person, when he has trouble, tends to wait for help from his family or friends instead of doing something. He wants to become a billionaire, but he gets a job with a low salary and he has compromised. And till the end of his life, he has not been as a rich man as he wants.
Nevertheless, I support the idea that people should do their best to move up in life. When adults try to make a bad situation better, they may fail. And then they search more and more, they have finally managed to find the best solution. That is the way successful people do. As a case in point, Thomas Edison, a famous scientist, had done the same. Before inventing the light bulb successfully, he had conducted thousands of experiments and fallen. He never gave up and always learned more knowledge. His persistence finally helped him succeed in inventing the first light bulb, which is used widely all over the world. Furthermore, trying and improving bad situations also help people discover many spontaneous abilities and valuable experiences.
In sum, while it is apparent that accepting terrible circumstances is one way to face too, it is undeniable that finding a way to improve such circumstances is more intelligent.