Please review my IELTS essay task 2. Thank you!

In most successful organizations, some people believe that communication between managers and workers is important, while other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss and give your opinion.

Opinions divided whether interaction between employers and employees in thriving corporations is crucial or other elements better off. Regarding this, there is surely a strong case to be made for both sides of the debate.

Admittedly, some people claim that effective communication plays an indispensable role in managing a company. This is predicated on the assumption that exchanging opinions probably leads to consensus for two sides, which is beneficial to increase job satisfaction. For example, if subordinate workers are granted the autonomy to give feedback or complaints to their executives, they will feel respected and put sufficient efforts to strive for their firms. By contrast, they might suffer from work stress or burnout, leading to rejection to comply with their managers. This also declines productivity, employee morale and even causes a high rate of turnover. Therefore, this is in and itself a clear benefit of strengthening the bond in a business.

On the other hand, others note that there are some factors surpassing the value of communication in a corporation, one of which is the competency between employees. This may serve as an incentive and is likely to encourage staff to work more diligently to overtake others and seize the potential opportunities to rewards such as promotion and additional perks. Another factor that is a driving force to the success of a company is the quality of workforces. It almost depends on the skilled and reliable manpower to develop a business. For instance, most of those with specialized knowledge areas and employability skills are arguably keys to long-term improvement as they have gained sufficient professional problem-solving skills and are able to generate innovative ideas for a company to compete in fierce competitions of current markets.

In conclusion, I am of the opinion that every factor consisting of communication is essential for the development of one firm and it is unnecessary to downplay the importance of each.

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Could you give me bands of 4 sections in the band score descriptors? Thank you!