Please review my IELTS essay task 2. Thank you~

Topic: Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

It is beyond question that advertising has become an integral part of everyone’s life. While some people relish the advantages of advertising, I would argue that its pitfalls are more significant than its benefits.

On the one hand, advertisement does bring a number of values to our lives. One advantage of advertising is that it provides information about products that we are intended to purchase, enabling us to have a better grasp of what we are going to use. Without advertising, we may not know about the products’ and services’ existence and end up stuck with our problems. Another positive effect of advertising is that it sometimes serves as a form of entertainment. An increasing number of manufacturers and advertisers are willing to invest more in their advertising to attract more potential customers. This kind of movement turns advertising into several forms, form 30-second videos to short films, and becomes more appeal to audiences.

On the other hand, it seems to me that advertising has more negative impacts on our lives. First, advertising appears everywhere, from a coffee shop to the corner of your house’s street, from your Facebook page to Google websites, literally everywhere. More and more people have been complaining about this irritating feature of advertising, especially when it keeps popping up even though they have already bought the products. Second, it is said that advertisers use devious methods to get into consumers’ heads and persuade them to buy unnecessary products. Everyone has at least once being swayed by advertising and ended up buying things impulsively.

In conclusion, although I acknowledge the benefits of advertising, I believe it has more negative impacts on our life compared to its benefits.