Please review my IELTS essay task 2

Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My essay:

It is true that parents should be responsible for teaching their children to become good members of society, while others claim that school is the place where they should learn this. I tend to agree with the former point of view and this essay presents my opinion.

On the one hand, school is supposed to be an ideal environment for children to foster their good behaviors due to its strict disciplines and set of rules. Children are offered the opportunities to learn, obey and respect this rules when they ought to put themselves in team-working, communicating effectively and well treating with others. Moreover, the attractive lessons and activities at school can be used as a tool to teach children the necessary skills so that they could become a better person and integrate easily in community. For instance, they can be taught the importance of sharing, punctuality and responsibility when doing a group project.

On the other hand, parents play a huge role in the children's lives and shoulder more of the responsibility for their upbringing than school teachers do. Before starting school, children spend most of their time with their mothers and fathers, when they are taught vital and basic skills to behave as human being, such as ability to eat, speak and walk. Parents should also ensure that their kids are growing up in a healthy environment and developing the proper correct attitudes, which they copy from what they see daily at home. In addition, it is quite easy for parents to identify and correct any unwanted behaviors of the children. Therefore, it would be wrong to expect school to have greater influences than the family.

In conclusion, parents must take a lead in teaching their own children good manners and school plays it supporting role.