Please Review my Ielts essay - task 2

Topic: Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My essay:

At the present time, high- achieving sport experts are warmly welcomed by people all over the world like movie stars. Therefore, with the support of mass media, they gain an enormous load of money for their achievements. However, this starts a strong controversy as other essential specialists' salary (such as scientists in different fields ) in almost nothing comparing to sport stars. Thus, this essay will discuss both views before giving personal opinion.

On the one hand, admittedly, successful sport players or coaches need a long time training intensively before reaching their glamourous careers. Hence, there are not many athletes can get through the tough challenges on their ways of pursuing bright goals. Moreover, every sport winning on a world scale bring not only fame but also pride to the nation identity. Consequently, sport stars have an extensive influence on the community and benefit financially from that.

On the other hand, obviously, it is unjustified for professionals in crucial major like politics, healthcare and science because they earn far less than famous sportsmen. Apparently, these essential experts' accomplishments are a lot more beneficial to our society than sport professionals. Typically, in specific areas of science such as medical experts, chemical specialists, economic scholars, ect, by various scientific and investigational project in different aspects, they have made lots of valuable researches, which will help to improve living standard, save people lives or boost the national economy when it is put into practic. In contrast, sportman mainly show their talent for audiences to entertain.

Personally, although, to a certain extent, I agree with the massive incomes of famous sport specialists, I think it is still unfair for other experts working in important fields as their efforts in contributing human lives are worth more than they are receiving at present. In addition, I feel that people should change their attitude as they need to realize tthe adequate heroes, they should be the ones who give us practical benefit in social life not the people who just help us to entertain.