Please review my IELTS Essay task 2

My topic: Some people think that the government should offer finacial support and care for elderly people, while others think that people should save money for their future life. Disscuss both views and give your opinion.

My essay:

The question about whether or not governments should take responsibility for helping elderly citizens has drawn much attention from the public. Although I accept that every people should economize money for their future, I would argue that the government supports should be concentrated on this issue.
On the one hand, it is true that everyone should prepare for the future, especially the emergencies. Budgeting for the later time would ensure a sufficient life. It means that when a person set aside money, she or he can solve some basic problems when they are older and retired like insurance or fundamental needs without government aids, which often support a part of the problem. Therefore, every citizen has obligation and share a common responsibility to balance the budget and juggle income for an old life.
On the other hand, I concede that the authorities play a vital role in assisting the senior citizens. It is true that the elder used to be workers, they had to work hard to earn a living and dedicate to their countries. Therefore, good social policies for old generations express the government's gratitude towards the contributions of them. Moreover, it is their right to have some financial support as they had paid their taxes through their lives, so they have rights to take some of money back. Therefore, the government should allocate money to take care of its senior citizens.
In conclusion, although economizing money is advantageous to some extent, it seems to me that the government should alleviate the golden-ager generation's lives by providing monetary aids.

(260 words)