Please review my IELTS essay task 1. Thank you ~
Topic: The maps below show the changes to an art gallery floor plan in 2005 and the present day.
My essay:
The maps illustrate the differences in the layout of an art gallery floor in 2005 and the present day.
Overall, there is not much change in the arrangement of exhibition rooms. The gallery adds some new amenities including a lift, a ramp for wheelchair and an area for children.
Compared to the design in 2005, the entrance, exhibition rooms 1, 2, and 3 are the same. The receptionist is moved from the corner of the stairs and the gallery office to the middle of the entrance hall. In addition, a new lift is constructed beside the stairs.
In contrast, most of the alterations are made to the other side of the floor. The gallery office is moved to the spot of the old café and the café is now replaced by a vending machine. The exhibition room 4 is separated into a temporary exhibition and an area for children. There is an additional ramp for wheelchair outside the gallery, locating next to the entrance.
Top answer
The maps illustrate the differences in the layout of an art gallery floor (wrong usage. ) between (differences between X and Y) 2005 and the present day. Overall, there is not much change in the arrangement of the exhibition rooms.
- The maps illustrate the differences in the layout of an art gallery floor (wrong usage.
- ) between (differences between X and Y) 2005 and the present day.
- Overall, there is not much change in the arrangement of the exhibition rooms.
- ) some new amenities including a lift, a ramp for wheelchair (wrong form) and an area for children have been added .
- Compared to the design in 2005, the entrance and exhibition rooms 1, 2, and 3 are the same.
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The maps illustrate the differences in the layout of an art gallery floor (wrong usage. "floor plan" is not the same as "floor", which is the surface that we walk on.) between (differences between X and Y) 2005 and the present day.
Overall, there is not much change in the arrangement of
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